Disclaimer: This blog is only up to date through Iron Man VS Lex Luther
Hey guys, I had this great idea to finally call this fight and now nothing will stop me! So in order to determine a winner I watched every Death Battle, Desk of Death Battle, Death Battle Preview, and Death Battle Q&A as well as the Swordplay video, Death Battle T-Shirt Commercial, Takahata101 vs Ben, Vegeta vs Mewtwo, and Screwattack's Top Ten Boomsticks: with Death Battle's Boomstick. Taking everything they said or did extremely literally, now considering this is my first Versus blog lets get this started :D
BACKSTORY
Wiz
Height: 5'07"
Weight: 160 lbs
Wizard Imsmarterthanyou, better known as 'Wiz' is the scientific researcher and member of the Secret Mad Scientist Community. Death Battle discovered him and brought onto the show due to his great accomplishments while genetic testing on rats and building his own Cybernetic arm with one hand. Since then Wiz has been a very influential part of Death Battle achieving many scientific accomplishments even dissecting an involuntary Goomba and altering peoples DNA.
Boomstick
Height: 6’01"
Weight: 195 lbs
29 years ago a child know only by the name of Boomstick was born to the great woman and terrible chief, MamaBoomstick. Even as a baby Boomstick was so manly and loved his mom so much that he had a Kickass Mustache and a Mom tatto on his arm from the second he popped out. Due to MamaBoomstick's constant divorcing and remarrying, Boomstick grew up with a multitude of stepfather's at a very early age, one of which was a Zombie-Pirate who one night got so drunk he cut off and ate Boomstick's left leg! At the age of 4 Boomstick met his 13th and final stepfather, a T-850 Terminator who taught him the secret of the one handed reloading of lever action shotguns, and from that moment on Boomsticks destiny was clear. Throughout his childhood Boomstick became the founder of both Boomstick’sBlowUpTime.com & BoomstickRulez#1.com where he displayed his incredible skill and expertise with wepondry, often cradling his guns like a child, even being declared the worlds best ShotgunWoodCarver, after all his competition dies of shotgun and wood related injuries. Because of this Boomstick was declared the Father of all Shotguns! Boomstick accomplished many things such as getting a pet raptor named Barney, declaring his personal hero to be Doomguy, Competing in the Twisted Metal Tournament, can tri-weild handguns and bizarrely stating his favorite killing tools to be swords and lasers. Boomstick then married and had a kid, named Shun Goku Satsu, with a woman who is as ugly as Death and is a deadly devouring machine that automatically kills anything near an All You Can Eat Buffet. Boomstick divorced her due to not being able to reach the last beer from the couch and her refusal to get it for him and he doesn’t give her alimony. And soon afterward became the weapons expert of Death Battle with a celebratory ass tat of a beer bottle crossed with 2 shotguns. He Will Eventually retire to the RWBY Verse to be a Huntsman instructor.
WEAPONS
Wiz
Wiz's primary weapon is his awesome Cybernetic arm with which he scored a hit on Boomstick with enough force to cause pain, he also wields a Lightsaber quite effectively.
Boomstick
Boomstick Is a walking armory of incomprehensibly destructive special weaponry most maniacs only dream about. His homemade weapons include a Laser-guided Kitten-cannon which was converted to also have a Baby Launcher, though both parts take 9 months to reload, a minigun, a barrage of Fire-Seals which can destroy Orca's, his badass Rake-Blade and his trusty firearm which he always has in hand the Double-Barrel Bazooka-Shotgun.
Boomstick also has a vast collection of other merciless lead-spewing blunderbusses he has acquired over the years, including,
Shotgun 1340:
An artificial intelligence shotgun that taunts your enemies for you and questions your judgement if you stop shooting.
1887 Akimbo:
An overpowered pair of shotguns.
Flak Cannon:
A powerful shotgun with ricocheting redhot shratinal and an attached grenade launcher.
Universal Remote Shotgun:
A shotgun with such tremendous range and accuracy it is a functional sniper rifle.
Coach Gun:
A triple-barrel shotgun that both melts fresh and causes limbs to explode off their body.
Onyx Roses:
Dual feet mounted shotguns that fire dangerous buckshot made from the dead souls of fairies.
Akimbo Auto-Shotguns:
Dual rapid fire shotguns that Boomstick wields by closing his eyes, clamping the triggers down and screamilng insane laughter at the top of his lungs
Super Shotgun:
A powerful double barrel sawn off shotgun it is break open and fires 20 pellets per shot and makes it so the user need not worry about accuracy or range,
it is also famous for being the very weapon Boomstick replaced his Left Leg with.
Boneduster:
Boomstick’s one true love, The Boneduster is an extremely versatile four barreled shotgun that can juggle opponents, kick harder than Boomstick’s sister on PCP and has a 0% possibility of missing, and as an added bonus it can be charged up to the point of overheating and in a manner true to it’s name literally roasts all the tissue off the bones of all the opponents on screen.
ARMOR
Wiz
For armor Wiz has his Cybernetic arm, and the Death Battle T-shirt, the shirt is constructed of 100% heavyweight cotton, it is Indestructible in certain situations, increases sex appeal, increases manliness 45%, draws more attention than atom bomb, and kills small animals. In addition to this the rest of Wiz's clothing is constructed of a Symbiotic similar to that of Venom, Death Battles version of Venom is fast enough to catch bullets and strong enough to lift buildings, but the symbiotic has a huge sound weakness.
Boomstick
Armor wise, Boomstick also has the DB T-shirt, and in addition all his remaining clothing is made up of Boomstickium a self-created compound that happens to be many times stronger and lighter than titanium.
Finally Boomstick has Rocket Boots that allow him to run at Mach 1 speeds.
SKILLS & ABILITIES
Wiz
Wiz has defeated a possessed SSG Goku Toy, has a vast amount of combat research and knowledge, Never makes mistakes, can make people forget things, and has Kirby’s Mic ability meaning he can kill people with his singing voice. In addition to this fe can heal from sickness, injuries and even death simply by having people click the like button on DB related videos
He is also a trained Jedi Knight who has a light saber, force push and force choke and used these skills to kill a knight and a ninja, and survived getting shot in the face,
Wiz’s REALLY dumb fucking face causes everyone around him break into an uncontrolled riot, and as a host Wiz has reality warping powers over the death battle canon: including recreating the earth multiple times, recreating the solar system, resurrecting characters from the dead etc...
Boomstick
Boomstick’s favorite battle strategy is and I quote “Beat the Shit outta everything that moves!” Boomstick is a master of Ivy Valentine's fighting style, a Dinosaur Expert, and has a minigun that he is so accurate with he signed his name in a puppy. He has Killed a Shark by punching it in the face, scattered random weapons all over the arena of Bieber vs Black, and murdered a magician who he thought was trying to kill him. Boomstick also gained electrokinesis by consuming eels and has become so strong he regularly catches squirrels by punching down trees, AND after training with Lumostiy Boomstick now has an IQ of 481. Boomstick can also fly backwards with his breath like Godzilla, is officially ranked better than Wizard, stabbed an intern in the hand and has a dick that is too large for Kirby’s inhale ability to suck in.
He even knows fates shotgun blast power, survived getting shot in the face, stabbed in a back alley, a head on Doombuggy crash into a lake and Chipotle, is a trained pirate who scored a shot on a Jedi, AND took over Screwattack's top ten making NervousNick pee himself and run away screaming, plus he has the exact same Warping powers as Wizard. More so than that Boomstick survived nonstop drinking for a solid week before eventually throwing up so much it flooded the sound booth, being fully engulfed in flame, horribly electrocuted and is a professional Polar Bear sitter
WEAKNESSES
Wiz
Wizard regularly gets shot down by a woman in around 10 seconds, is a consistent Designated Driver, seriously dislikes Michelangelo, and his Cybernetic arm suffers constant glitches.
Boomstick
Boomstick is easily distracted by women and wants to bang every single female character on DB except Rainbow and Toph.
He also failed to kill Deadpool, has damaged eyes, became distressed over Haggar’s death,
had his car destroyed, hates hippies, hates nazis, hates birds, hates tween popstars more than his ex-wife, was given a faulty super serum, got his dick stuck in a toaster, and can be hopelessly confused by Anime.
CONCLUSION
Wiz
Advantages
- Smarter
- Better Strategist
- Has some Decent Hax and Abilities
- Expendable Arm
- Knows some of Boomstick’s Weaknesses
- His Schedule stops Boomstick's Churro Consumption
- Can Heal from death injuries and illness if the audience clicks the like button on DB related vids
- House can endure a week of bombardment from fireworks
Disadvantages
- Much Weaker
- Much Slower
- More limited and Predictable
- Lacks in Weaponry
- Fails to Gain significant Advantages
- Very little experience
- His Dumb FUCKING Car
- Boomstick keeps banging his mom
- Takes loans from the Yakuza
Boomstick
Advantages
- Much Stronger And Faster
- Better Armor
- A TON More Experience
- Hilariously better Arsenal
- More Versatile Abilities
- Counter Acts Wiz’s Advantages by not being a slouch in the same categories
- Less Predictable
- Better at Chess
- Burns down Wiz's lab all the time
- Hunts Squirrels with a cannon
Disadvantages
- Dumber
- Easily confused or Distracted
- Blind Fits Of Rage
- Insane
- Weakness for Churros
- Is a drunk known for urinating on jukeboxes
- Enjoys dinosaur themed Stripclubs
Verdict
This Fight is a Heavy Stomp, I’m Sorry, But Boomstick just Has Wiz inarguably beaten in every category that is going to matter. Ben hopefully you will give Wiz more stuff to make this fair because as of right now the winner is….BOOMSTICK!
“HAHA SUBSCRIBE, BECAUSE I’M BETTER THAN WIZARD”
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