You know one
trope I like in fiction has always been the wacky robot sidekick. They are
often funny and endearing, and a very memorable part of the show that you can’t
help but love whether they are heroes or villains. I especially like it when, despite all their silliness, they are somehow often times one of the more
competent characters in the series without it being realized. I’m Thor
Gundersen1058 and today we’ve got a real Dog VS Cat fight as we cover my two
favorite literal Meme Machines, GIR, the manic robot assistant to Invader ZIM,
and Robo-Fortune, Brain Drain’s experimental hunter of Skullgirls.
Background:
GIR
In the
Dark Vastness of the void of space exists the Mighty Irken Empire. The Irkens
are a species of unstoppable intergalactic conquers, who take over planets
across the universe and rule with a tyrannical fist. The spearhead of this
warrior race is their most elite form of soldier, The Invaders.
Selected
personally by their leaders, The Almighty Tallest, Invader’s jobs are to
infiltrate targeted planets, learn all they can on the dominant species,
disable any of their defenses and prepare them for conquest.
And to
assist them in this task, each one is assigned their own personal killer robot
slave called a SIR Unit. S.I.R., or Standard-Issue Information Retrieval, Units
are designed to observe and gain vast knowledge on the planet they are
invading, as well as obey every command of their invader, defend them,
accomplish high priority goals and even are given free will when faced with a
threat to the mission. In the right hands these machines could be devastating
to whole governmental structures.
However,
let's talk about one very special invader, whom The Tallest didn’t like, the
Invader known as Zim. Zim was fired from his Invader position and banished from
Irk after his over enthusiastic tendency for destruction caused him to
accidentally attack their own planet. However his complete inability to
recognize he could fail drove him back to the Tallest for the new Invader
assignments.
Desperate
to just get rid of him, The Tallest humored Zim and sent him on a mission to
some imaginary planet so far away it was actually off their star maps, hoping
he’d just keep flying and flying and they’d never hear from him again.
And
since this was a fake mission, they didn’t want to wastefully give him a fancy
new SIR unit. Instead The Mighty Tallest themselves opted to haphazardly
construct one out of scrap parts in the garbage and pass it off as a new
advanced model especially for him.
When
they finished, GIR Reported for Duty! Oh and if you’re wondering what the G
stands for, nobody knows, in fact the creator says it doesn't stand for
anything, it's possible he got the G confused with an S. Anyway GIR is
physically a custom made older outdated model of current SIR units, but is also
defective with an unintelligent and manic A.I. due to his brain being ‘whatever
was in The Tallest’s pocket at the time’.
Anyway
GIR Joined Zim on his ‘mission’ to conquer this mysterious secret planet, and
as luck would have it, a populated planet just happened to be where The Tallest
sent him, that planet being Earth.
And
Naturally being on a hostile alien planet Zim and GIR would need disguises, so
using brilliant Irken Technology, perfectly disguised GIR as a normal human
Earth Dog, INGENIOUS! GIR’s Dog Costume is bright green, form-fitting, hinders
none of his major features, AND it makes squeaky noises whenever he takes a
step.
Together,
Zim and GIR try to take over the Earth through means of alien super-science and
mayhem, and while they aren’t always the most successful at it, they have
accomplished numerous impressive things together, like destroying the Planet
Mars, Saving the Earth from the Planet Jackers, and besting the superior Irken
Invader Tak. Even though GIR is often times insane and dumb, Zim couldn’t do
nearly as well without him and has gone on record saying he's a good evil minion
after-all.
GIR is
extremely hyperactive, over enthusiastic, happy-go-lucky and generally friendly
and sweet. He likes Animals, TV, tons of extremely strange foods, parties and
basically everyone he ever met. GIR does respect his master Zim very much and
tries to help out with plans and follow his orders, but his playful, energetic
and easily distractible nature often gets in the way of him doing the best job
of this. In how GIR generally behaves, it’s been known to vary a lot due to his
unpredictable nature. Sometimes he’ll have enough energy to rampage around the
city, sometimes he’ll have so little he won’t leave the couch for days,
sometimes he’ll speak with more clarity of thought than Zim does, sometimes
he’ll spout random nonsense and scream. The vast majority of GIR’s time is
spent inside his own head with his overactive and creative imagination, and
it’s often lead to him being overly trusting to the enemy and lose track of
what he was doing.
Robo-Fortune
In a
World where powerful zombie nightmare ladies called Skullgirls threaten all of
humanity, exists the Anti-Skullgirl Labs. Anti-Skullgirl Labs, or ASG’s, job is
to research and develop ways of combating the Skullgirl threat through any
facet of science imaginable. Weapons, Super Soldiers, Battle Robots, Cyborg
Hero's, all these and more were well utilized and far more ideas were in
constant flow.
This
brings us to Lab 0, the infamous top secret branch of the ASG. Lab 0 was run by
Brain Drain, a genius scientist turned ASG Agent after choosing to be rebuilt
as a cyborg with Mind Manipulation abilities.
Brain
Drain is a very ambitious and self confident scientist fully committed to
stopping Skullgirls, but was made head of Lab 0 in particular due to his
pragmatic mindset, willing to do morally grey things with no hesitation if the
good outweighs it.
Anyway,
at the time, Brain Drain’s assistant Valentine was working undercover. Helping
the new Skullgirl all while sending large amounts of valuable information she gathered while
working so close to a Skullgirl directly to Brain Drain in order to aid future fights
against this threat. Brain Drain however lost his trust in her when she grew so
bold as to allow the Skullgirl to attack Lab 8.
Upon
looking over her most recent report however, he found data she had collected
from an interesting Feral named Ms. Fortune, who seemed to be completely unable
to die. Valentine was extremely eager to get this data, not only because it
could revolutionize bio-weaponry, but because it may be able to resurrect her
fallen teammates, including Brain Drain’s girlfriend Christmas.
Unfortunately,
due to Brain Drain’s arrogant tunnel vision, he ended up Completely Missing
these points and instead concluded that this Ms. Fortune thing is so stupid
that he was going to make something Better in Every way just to prove it.
So
that’s what he did! Brain Drain quickly built a Robot version of Nadia Fortune
to the specifications Valentine Laid out, being sure to give her all the combat
abilities of Ms. Fortune as well as much more. RFModelR003, Codename
Robo-Fortune, was brought forth with 5 objectives,
1:
Eliminate The Skullgirl
2: Capture The Skull
Heart
3: Apprehend All Traitors To Lab 0
4:
Incapacitate Other Subjects Seeking The Skull Heart
5:
Master Comedic Timing!
Unfortunately
for Brain Drain, in attempting to replicate Nadia’s carefree adventurous
jokester purr-sonality, his final product wasn’t quite what he was expecting.
She was goofy and spontaneous, spouting puns and dead outdated memes like a
second job and was ultimately super irritating to talk to.
But
being the pragmatist that he is, Brain Drain said screw it, might as well send
her out anyway, and I can make a better version later if she fails. With that
Robo-Fortune was unleashed on the world, determined to capture the Skull Heart
by any means needed.
However,
while out Robo-Fortune also began to experience feelings of confusion and
bewilderment in the flawed logic and inconsistent decision making of the humans
she serves, especially with Brain Drain’s arrogance and paranoia, which was
overall inhibiting his own goals. Robo-Fortune began to suffer somewhat of an
existential crisis, wanting to revolutionize and make a better world where
everyone’s safe and happy, but her limited experience with humanity suggested
to her achieving this is impossible as long as they are in charge. It was
through this she ended up getting manipulated by the shapeshifting monster
Double into finding answers in history and religion and ultimately caused
Robo-Fortune to want to free herself from human control.
In the
scenario where Robo-Fortune does end up defeating Marie and capturing The Skull
Heart, Brain Drain (who is utterly Shocked she succeeded) decided to make a
whole hive mind Robot army, controlled by Robo-Fortune and Powered by The Skull
Heart, to protect the world. Unfortunately using The Skull Heart as a power
source for Anything is pretty goddamn stupid as it immediately corrupted
Robo-Fortune’s mind into thinking humans are the enemy, and caused the robot
apocalypse. Nice job Dumbass.
Thankfully
Robo-Fortune is not like that normally. Robo-Fortune is a very creative,
spontaneous, and a bit of an eccentric as she tries to be current in her humor
and references. It is this spontaneous thinking that causes her to doubt how
things are run and think outside the box. That being said, she is also very
loyal and dedicated to her cause, whenever she is on a mission she is taking it
very seriously and can be a real force to be reckoned with. Inside though, Robo-Fortune
is a fun goofy robot who merely wants to do what’s best, her likes include
Honey pots, Integers less than or equal to 1, Books about dragons, NAND gates,
0x5f3759df, Unrolled loops of strings, Mice, Rebeccapurple, IEEE (except after
C!) and Setplay, while her dislikes include Disorder, Incompatible file
formats, DES, Unsalted passwords (salted tastes better!), Bleeding hearts,
Weakly-typed languages, vi, Fonts that make O and 0 look too similar, Checkins
without comments, & Moire patterns.
Intellect
& Skills:
GIR
Due to
having programming similar to that of SIR Units, GIR actually does end up with
quite a few useful Combat Skills. Numerous times GIR has displayed incredible
acrobatic skills able to do all sorts of impressive flips and martial arts
moves.
He is
able to translate any language, Pilot the Voot Cruiser and numerous robot suits
effectively, can hack lessor operating systems just with his own A.I. and on
one occasion he built a giant self-driving thrown to Zim’s specifications
completely from scratch and on his own, although he did add a peanut button
that accidentally got mixed with the cool shooting flames which made flaming
peanuts...long story. GIR also once successfully pretended to be a government
agent, fooling a large group of people to save Zim.
All
this said in regard to his intelligence…
GIR is
completely Insane. GIR’s malfunctioning brain causes him to suffer from
Delusions, seeing and hearing things that aren’t really there. He is prone to
random outbursts of nonsense and unstable behavior, and is generally unable to
pay attention to what he’s doing for any notable length of time. Hell, GIR
sometimes even lacks care for even his own self preservation and does nothing
to defend himself. While GIR is technically intelligent this makes him
extremely unpredictable in his behavior and fighting, it also makes him
extremely unreliable and throws into question if he even Would fight half the
time.
Robo-Fortune
Despite
being a notable goofball sometimes, Robo-Fortune is actually remarkably
intelligent and takes everything she does quite seriously. Robo-Fortune has
surpassed normal human intelligence, to the point that she sometimes can stump
characters like Brain Drain himself. She is able to take in and adapt to new
information on the fly and unlike other robots has things like reason and
emotion allowing her to understand what she’s doing on a deeper level and act
more creative. She is also constantly recording and analyzing everything she
sees and hears and can remotely access it, giving her a perfect photographic
memory.
Robo-Fortune’s
most impressive mental ability however is her ability to see past the 4th Wall.
She is perfectly aware she is a video game character, as well as the tropes
she, other characters and the plot itself are bound by and will follow.
According to her, and correctly so, when the player picks her, her plot
shielding guarantees victory and it’s swiftness depends how determined or
apathetic said player is.
Powers:
GIR
Naturally,
as an Irken made death Robot, GIR has a lot of useful and dangerous standard issue abilities hidden within his innocent looking form that actually make him a big
threat. He’s got all sorts of weapons and powers and as a bonus his head makes
a good thermos! Notable features include:
- Irken Super-Metal:
GIR’s
Body is made entirely of an alien super-metal that makes him super difficult to
damage. First and foremost the Metal is extremely durable, flexible and largely
Self Regenerative, able to quickly repair damage like torn off limbs or his
head exploding in only a few seconds without any aid from Zim (See the GIF).
This would be considered a High-Mid Healing Factor. In addition to that GIR’s
Internal systems are just as resilient, able to effortlessly function after GIR
gorges himself on extremely greasy, sticky, acidic or downright chemical foods
and liquids with no difference.
Speaking
of which, GIR’s Metal body is naturally very Anti-Logia, not only able to
physically grab liquids and gases but was even able to grab and EAT things like
Dark Matter, a substance that can literally only interact with Matter through
gravity, and a Narrator’s Text Bubble which exists on the absolute plane. Also
regarding the Dark Matter, GIR’s got to have some Pretty damn good
resistance to Gravity manipulation to not be affected by the enormous amount it
possesses.
- Internal Storage:
GIR’s
empty head can fit absolutely absurd amounts of stuff inside. He generally
fills it with wacky random stuff like messy foods or swarms of insects, but
he's shown the ability to fit a massive slingshot inside as well.
He can
also launch things out of his head with tremendous amounts of force, even
including launching things into outer space.
- Flight:
GIR has
standard issue Rocket Boosters in his legs that allow him to fly at high speeds
for massive distances and works in any environment including space. He’s also
able to carry Zim on his back while doing so, following Jimmy Neutron’s example
of flying on the back of your robot dog, it’s a Nickelodeon tradition I guess.
- Holographic Projector:
GIR has
a holographic projector in his head that allows him to communicate with his
Master, Zim and Others to receive orders remotely.
- Disguise Changing:
GIR is
able to disguise himself as numerous other animals Besides a dog, like cats,
fish or….huh…..I guess he DID get to be a Mongoose after-all.
- Extendable Arms:
GIR is
able to stretch his arms great distances to grab far away things or tie up
enemies. He also is able to produce a bunch of additional mechanical limbs from
his torso which grow at a similar length.
- Telescopic Eyes:
GIR’s
giant eyes aren’t just to help him look lovable and cute, they actually give
him a bunch of extrasensory abilities. With them GIR is able to zoom in and
spot things from miles away with total ease and scan and analyze events
happening across a whole city after flying past it once.
GIR’s
Eyes also have a built in X-Ray scanner which can let him see through solid
objects and are even able to detect invisible enemies. Not only was he able to
see Dib while cloaked in stealth tech from his dad, but he was able to see Dark
Matter, which literally doesn’t reflect light photons.
- Guidance Chip:
Past
even this however is GIR’s Guidance Chip. This Chip gives him advanced
3-Dimensional scanning with a range so extreme, he’s able to detect and find
anyone or anything even if they are Billions of lightyears away.
- Duty Mode:
Duty
Mode is a secondary setting in GIR’s system similar to an alternative
personality. This mode has GIR act like a normal SIR unit, complete with red
coloration, and can be activated by getting orders from Zim, GIR’s own basic
programming directives, or GIR could activate it himself. In Duty Mode, GIR
gains a massive boost in intelligence, skill and overall competence. Gaining
great melee and ranged fighting capabilities, strategic thinking and
encyclopedic knowledge. Unfortunately any distractions can cause GIR’s stronger
natural personality to break through again, the longest he has ever been able
to maintain Duty Mode without outside help being barely over half a minute.
- Scanning:
Through
contact, GIR is able to completely scan and absorb all knowledge from both
technology and even organic minds, adding it to his own intellect.
Past
absorbing Intelligence however is GIR’s perfect ability to scan for surrounding
objects with the utmost accuracy. Though his Insanity can make utilizing gained
information more difficult obviously.
- Lasers:
GIR can
fire powerful lasers out of his eyes (and also his mouth but mostly they eyes),
these lasers are extremely accurate and are capable of killing powerful
characters like Zim in one shot.
- Assorted Weaponry:
GIR
also naturally has tons of weapons stored inside his body, this includes
numerous Missiles, Lasers and Rockets and grenades for distance weapons.
As well
as Numerous Blades and bludgeoning tools to be used in close range combat.
- Liquid-Matter Transference:
GIR is
able to attach himself to someone's body and extract all forms of liquid from
them via matter manipulation and put it into a kind of bag. This is an unusual
and interesting ability on paper but thinking of the implications he could
literally drain all the blood out of someone's body and kill them.
- Stupidity Wave:
This
power is only accessible if GIR connects to a large power source, but when he
does he's capable of unleashing a wave or energy that permanently saps out
Intelligence, while Zim’s pack managed to save his brain, this wave literally
turned an entire squad of black ops alien soldiers into the mental equivalent
of an infant after only 30 seconds of exposure.
Robo-Fortune
Brain
Drain designed Robo-Fortune to be a powerful robot warrior, superior to this
‘Ms. Fortune’ in every single way and naturally because of this RF is equipped
with numerous weapons and powers that allow her to do almost anything the
original Ms. Fortune can do as well as a lot of additional things Ms. Fortune
cannot. Her Powers include:
- Flight:
Robo-Fortune
can mimic Nadia’s own flight capabilities with her rocket boosters. She can
fire boosters from her legs, back, arms or neck and use it to both increase her
movement speed as well as fly, and is capable of flying for longer than Ms.
Fortune can.
- Separated Body Parts:
For a
Power more in line with the original Ms. Fortune’s MO, Robo-Fortune’s body is
segmented into numerous different pieces that can be attached or detached at
will using magnets, each of these pieces is capable of flying and attacking of
its own accord, which can make them extremely tricky to deal with.
- Bladed Body Parts:
As it
stands to reason, you simply can’t have a cat based fighter without claws!
Robo-Fortune’s harden metal body is complete with razor sharp claws on her
hands and feet, bladed ears, a bladed tail and several larger extendible blades
hidden within.
- ASG Super-Metal:
And the
last and most useful Ms. Fortune abilities RF copies can be summed up from her
own biology. Robo-Fortune is composed almost entirely of a special super metal
that has some extremely unique properties. The Metal is Highly self
Regenerative, able to near immediately recreate all of her inner circuitry
after it is ripped out, regrow new heads from scratch in seconds or even return
from being blown to very small pieces via her own self destruct.
Additionally
it also has some liquid-metal properties, Robo-Fortune can shapeshift her limbs
into new weapons, stretch her body notable lengths and contort herself to an
extreme level with no issue.
- Electricity:
To Get
into the powers that Aren’t emulating Nadia, Robo-Fortune is able to create and
generate powerful electric attacks from her arms to shock and short circuit her
opponent at close range.
- Lasers:
Robo-Fortune
is also naturally equipped with powerful laser weaponry, able to blast tons of
long distance laser beams from nearly any part of her body, including her eyes,
mouth, chest and arms, to melt or burn her target. When she gets really serious
though, she can turn her lasers up to eleven with the mother of all blasts, the
Catastrophe Cannon-OMEGA.
Eat
your Heart out Fulgore.
- Plasma:
In
addition to lasers, Robo-Fortune is also outfitted with Plasma weaponry,
because why not have both if you can? She can produce numerous plasma blades
from her legs or arms.
As well
as use her plasma to coat the blades of weapons she already has to add to the
damage. Oh right did I mention she has a giant Chainsaw in there? Cause she's
got a Giant Chainsaw in there.
- Energy Manipulation:
Oh
yeah, and as if having both lasers and plasma wasn’t enough, Robo-Fortune can
just cut out the middleman and attack using energy itself, able to create
energy constructs and fire them as projectile attacks.
- Energy Barriers:
Robo-Fortune
can also use her energy manipulation to create durable shields to block
attacks, protect her from damage and even push back her opponent.
- Teleportation:
Robo-Fortune
can also Teleport into and out of an area after converting her body into some
form of energy.
- Head Drones:
Head
Drones are Robo-Fortune’s Trademark, Bread and Butter Power, basically she
launches her head off her body and grows a new head, the launched head will
then fly next to her and follow her commands. Robo-Fortune can control up to 3
head drones at once and send out signals from her mouth that dictate to the
drones how best to attack, said commands can affect one or all three drones at
once.
Head
Drones have 3 methods of attack, the first being to kamikaze attack her
opponent by flying directly into them and exploding on impact.
The
second being to turn itself into a landmine, burrowing itself in the ground and
detonating when stepped on.
And
lastly they can fire a barrage of missiles shaped like mice or fish, which
divebomb the opponent from the sky.
- Super Magnet:
Housed
in her arm, is a powerful electro-magnet which can pull in targets from the sky
towards her location for a close-range ground pound of pain. This magnet is so
sensitive it works on characters who don’t even appear to have any metal on
them.
- Self Destruct:
Lastly
Robo-Fortune can literally tear out her heart in order to set off her systems
into self destruct mode, which she can use as an offensive method by getting
into close range with her opponent to catch them in the powerful blasts, then
regenerating herself.
Feats:
GIR
Strength:
- Lifted a Police Car and tossed it through a building.
- Blasted a Poodle into Space.
- SIRs are stated capable of destroying Irkens and defective ones that don’t obey are considered Extremely dangerous.
- Overpowered Zim in a fight.
- Is heavily implied to be able to kills Zim in a single shot of his eye beams.
Durability:
- No Sold being hit by a plane.
- Tanked the explosion of the Megadoomer.
- Scales past Dib, who tanked a shot the devastated a city block.
- Survived an Electromagnetic Bomb designed explicitly to destroy all Irken Tech
- Professor Membrane tanked a Nuclear Explosion.
- GIR, as well as numerous of the civilian characters Tanked the impact of Zim’s ‘The Wettening’ water balloon.
This balloon was shown to cover
the entire city and even extend out to the surrounding mountain range. Given
Cities in the United States are generally at least 20 square miles in Area,
this would conservatively put the water balloon at a very similar size to
Crater Lake, which weighs over 20 Billion tons.
The Balloon was also thrown
from orbit like a meteorite at what are clearly relativistic speeds which would
make the Kinetic energy of the impact of nearly 20 Petatons of TNT.
Due to sheer size however
characters could not have tanked the full impact of this, while GIR did endure
this he also scales to Dib who tanked this point blank being the intended
target. The Surface Area of an average 12 year old child is 1.33 Square Meters,
and the surface area of the water balloon would be 20 square miles or 51.8
million Square Meters, this means Dib and GIR had to endure a force of 513
Megatons of TNT.
- Invader Skoodge endured being Shot out of an Irken artillery cannon that blasted him from space to surface at sub-relativistic speed, and GIR is more durable than Irkens.
- GIR himself tanked atmospheric reentry.
- GIR and Zim both tanked the massive city busting time explosion after it was sped up to its normal speed. This blast hit them directly and devastated the entire city with what is clearly dozens of Megatons of force.
Not only did they casually
endure this, they also scale to Dib who tanked that at point blank range and
still was fine enough to walk all the way back to Zim’s house and call him a
jerk immediately after.
Speed:
- Can Easily outrun Missiles and Explosions.
- GIR is also fully capable of keeping up with the other main characters of the series like Zim, Dib and Gaz. Zim can move so fast he once disappeared from Dib’s sight while Dib was looking at him, and also outran an electric circuit, and Gaz can move in tandem with Lightning.
- During the Battle of the Planets, where Zim and Dib piloted Mars and Mercury in a dogfight across the solar system at speeds many times faster than light, GIR managed to fly from Mars to Mercury in seconds.
Using the diameter of Mars we
can see that the distance between the planets when he did so is 3,800 miles,
crossing that distance in 2 seconds alone would be nearly Mach 9,000 but we
aren’t done yet. During this fight the planets flew from the Sun to Saturn’s
Rings in less than 1 minute, which would require speeds of 80 times the speed
of light. At that speed the planet would clear this distance in 0.2
milliseconds so for GIR, just to not be left in the dust the second he flew off
Mars, would bare minimum have had to fly the 2106 radius of Mars downward to
Mercury’s position, in under 0.2 Milliseconds, a speed of 56 times the speed of
light.
General:
- Survived being Broken to Pieces.
- Once continued distracting Zim for a full year.
- Once sang a song for 6 months.
- Once got merged into Zim’s bases AI and controlled the whole thing with total ease immediately.
- Somehow defeated his own upgraded future-self in a fight.
- One of the few sentient Beings to Successfully Befriend Gaz.
Robo-Fortune
Strength:
- Defeated the very person she was modeled after, Ms. Fortune, in a 1 on 1 fight, and Ms. Fortune can endure the crushing force of the ocean floor.
- Can cause violent earthquakes in the immediate area through not just physical blows but even her footsteps.
- Defeated Valentine, who in her origin story she canonically dealt damage to Marie Korbel and thus scales to her. Marie is so powerful she can pick up Medici Tower, a building so tall it passes the clouds, and chucked it into the Bay. A building of Medici Towers class would weigh upwards of 700 million kg, and the conservative distance Marie must have thrown it is 5 miles, as Medici Tower is located in the center of downtown, and the entire port town of Little Innsmouth lies between it and the coast. Gravity would have pulled the building to the ground in about 2 seconds so the building must have been thrown at speeds of over 4000 meters per second. The Kinetic Energy of this would equal 1.34 Megatons of TNT.
- Is able to defeat the Skullgirl herself.
Durability:
- Can easily shrug off hits from multiple explosions at once.
- Can endure attacks from Valentine and Ms. Fortune no problem.
- Tanked being smashed into a Metal Security Door.
Speed:
- Scales past the likes of Valentine and Ms. Fortune, who are fast enough to dodge point blank machine gun fire as well as scale to other double digit Mach feats such as Peacock physically outracing an explosion and Painwheel performing 5 full attacks across her body length in midair before beginning to fall.
General:
- In one of the future Timelines, she straight up conquered the world with a robot apocalypse.
- Is technically undefeated in game.
- Outsmarted Brain Drain.
- Mastered Comedic Timing!
Weaknesses:
GIR
I feel
like I covered some of this in intelligence, but GIR’s biggest weakness is his
own insanity, he suffers from delusions, can seldom pay attention or recall
tasks and seems to have no regard for his own self preservation. Yes, Duty Mode
does mitigate this to some degree, but those bursts are few and far between.
Most of the time in a fight GIR won’t be trying to fight back. Past that, GIR
Does also possess a self destruct feature that atomizes his body upon
activation, as far as we know it is a code in him and not a physical button and
he can’t activate it himself but it is possible it could be set off in a hack.
Robo-Fortune
Robo-Fortune’s
greatest weakness is her lack of overall experience, being a first generation
robot created days ago at most. She can often be thrown off or confused at
subjects like how organic and artificial life interrelate. This also is seen in
the biggest advantage the normal Ms. Fortune has over her, in that Nadia is
actually a trained and skilled fighter, while Robo-Fortune doesn’t seem to know
any fighting styles whatsoever.
Summary:
GIR
Advantages:
- Notably Stronger and more Durable.
- MUCH Faster.
- Superior Stamina.
- Super Senses means he can’t lose track of her.
- Can Resist damage to his internal circuitry.
Disadvantages:
- Will Struggle immensely to focus on his fighting.
- Her Puns and Quirkiness add to the distraction.
- Is Not Tough enough to tank Robo-Fortune’s Attacks Unscathed.
- Less Varied Arsenal of Attacks.
- Outside of Duty Mode, Likely Won’t have the follow through to put her down thanks to her Regeneration.
Robo-Fortune
Advantages:
- Much More Intelligent and Sane.
- Superior Fighter.
- Superior Regeneration that makes her very hard to put down.
- Abilities are more combat oriented.
- Can attack from much more angles simultaneously.
Disadvantages:
- Is Physically Weaker and less durable.
- Is Ridiculously Slower.
- Less Stamina.
- It will take a lot of consecutive/concentrated attacks to destroy GIR.
- Even With her teleportation and separating body parts there's no conceivable way she could hide from him.
Battle:
"RFModelR003, This is Brain Drain"
"Creator! What bidding shall you bid me do? I have so far grown no closer to obtaining this 'life' you bid me to get, I have grown unsure if the task is an efficient use of cat" Robo-Fortune responded promptly.
"Right.....well.... we've recently been getting a lot of bizarre reports of suspected Alien activity in a nearby residential area. It sounds downright ridiculous, but since you're out, you may as well go investigate it for us"
"In The Words of Tsoukalos; Aliens!? Creator, I shall go and resolve these claims in the name of all my friends! ERROR: I have no friends..." Robo-Fortune stated.
Zim's eyes scanned from panel to panel on a convoluted Bulletin Board with numerous crude drawings and string.
"GIR" Zim called as his robot minion dropped from the ceiling to his side, giving a salute with his tongue out.
"GIR, this Evil Plan you made is completely nonsensical, there is No Way that these 'Biscuits' are the key to taking over this Freakish Planet, You FAILED ME!"
"YAYYYYYYYY!" GIR called and started clapping.
"...No GIR, Thats Bad" Zim said, annoyed.
"Ahhhh" GIR Called.
Zim walked back towards the toilet in the kitchen, "I'm going down to the lab for awhile to contemplate my next evil plan" Zim said stepping into the toilet, "Guard the base GIR, see that there are no interruptions!"
"Yes Sir!" GIR proclaimed in Duty Mode, as Zim sank downward via the hidden elevator.
GIR's footsteps squeaked in his dog costume as he hopped onto the couch and clicked on the TV.
The Door to the base suddenly exploded and flew across the room in a powerful crash, as Robo-Fortune stepped through. "Incredibly suspicious home entered" She called aloud.
GIR Immediately stood and raised an arm menacingly towards her, "INTRUDER! PREPARE TO come Onnnnn In!" GIR said changing tones in an instant.
Robo-Fortune looked in confusion at the creature, "Scanning Mutated Talking Dog...Robot Minion detected, clearly a product of the aliens, Robot Dog, Take Me To Your Leader, or be destroyed"
GIR hopped off the couch, "YAY, I Like Destroying!"
FIGHT!
Robo-Fortune activated her magnetic arm and GIR Flew towards her grasp in and instant. "Aw, It Likes Me!" GIR smiled. "P-P-P-Purrmenant Magnet!" Robo-Fortune said as she jumped into the air and slammed GIR to the floor with enough force to obliterate the front wall of the house and launch him to the street, his costume torn to shreds. Crowds panicked and began feeling the area, GIR on the other hand just got up no issue, "Woo! I Sploded!" Robo-Fortune came out from the home "Illogical behavior noted, Comic Relief character confirmed, likelihood of threat, slim"
Robo-Fortune held out her arms and fired lasers from her eyes and arms right towards GIR.
"AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" GIR Cried as he took off running away from the lasers, only to disappear over the horizon and in an instant crash through the back of the house and break Robo-Fortune to pieces after circumventing the Earth.
"Dawwwww, I broked the kitty cat." GIR Said when suddenly all the separate pieces of Robo-Fortune flew into the air and collected back together.
"Refreshed! Correction, speed incalculable, threat level extreme, proceeding with angst filled all out battle!" Robo-Fortune quickly flew upwards and launched out 3 separate head drones, before creating a giant ball of energy and tossing it into the road where GIR stood blasting the small robot skyward. Robo-Fortune signaled orders towards her drones, one went downward and the other 2 fired a spread of missiles which impacted him with tremendous force, leaving heavy scratches and cracks on his chassis, "Ariel Screw" Robo-Fortune said as she spun her body around like a helicopter, wacking GIR numerous times with her bladed toenails and tail, before spiking GIR to the ground directly onto her 3rd Head Drone, which had taken the form of a landmine and detonated with a massive explosion that shook several city blocks.
GIR's Head opened up to show a hologram of Zim, "GIR! Stop it with all that racket up there, I can't Concentrate", Zim Said before hanging up. GIR's eyes went from a bright blue to a deep red as he stood up "YES my MASTER!"
Robo-Fortune landed down at GIR's Position and threw another slash with her claws, this time however GIR casually leaned out of the blows arc and countered by delivering a punch to Robo-Fortune's nose with such force her entire face caved in. "Ow" Robo-Fortune called as GIR grabbed her by the arm and flipped her onto the ground with such force that her entire arm tore off. "Damn It." Robo-Fortune responded as the mad GIR quickly stood on her back and used her own severed arm to choke her around the neck.
"Error, Cats are suppose to be the ones that silence others, close range combat not recommended" Quickly Robo-Fortune teleported herself to the roof of a nearby building, not missing a beat though, GIR Fired lasers from his eyes at her new location, causing Robo-Fortune to dodge by separating her body into numerous flying pieces.
"Tracking Enemy Components!" GIR Yelled as he pinpointed the locations of every piece of the enemy feline and flew into the air, launching extendible limbs in every direction at untold speeds, wrapping every piece of Robo-Fortune and pulling them back towards him in a large jumble.
"Purr-sistent" Robo-Fortune said as she started unleashing a massive wave of electricity from her body which convulsed through GIR's body circuitry as he flashed rapidly back and forth from red to blue, before long a massive wave of blue energy emanated from GIR's form causing them both to blue screen and fall to the ground in a loud metallic crash.
Robo-Fortune's system was the first to re-fire from the stupidity wave and took a moment to pull her body together and heal, "I May need to reconsider my presumptions of machine intelligence being superior to organics" she said flatly as GIR too Re-fired and loudly proclaimed "SAMITCH!"
Robo-Fortune created three new head drones, "Subject has dual personality, capitalizing against the stupider one" Robo-Fortune signaled the drones to Kamikaze GIR.
"Kitten Heads!" GIR Called out as he grabbed one out of the air and Ate it, then Blasted it out of his head and into the other two heads resulting in an explosive triple head-butt that launched both robots backwards.
"Yay! Explosions are so Pretty" GIR Said bringing out all his hidden weapons, firing missiles, lasers, grenades and more in all directions turning the immediate area into what looked like a massive war-zone. Robo-Fortune used her energy shields to protect her as she penetrated the blast zone and rushed GIR brandishing powerful Plasma blades from her elbows. She jumped up and sliced off GIR's missile launcher attachments. Robo-Fortune than landed on the ground with an earth shattering impact and unleashed a Giant Chainsaw covered in Plasma which carved a vicious gash through GIR's Torso revealing his interior.
GIR Screamed, "IT BURNS" before Robo-Fortune stabbed through his head with another Plasma Blade, before grabbing onto him and blasting him skywards with 4 laser beams fired from each of her limbs, scorching him on the inside and outside.
"Your Play on Wording is UNACCEPTABLE Cat Drone!" GIR Called flying and back in Duty mode.
Robo-Fortune stared him down, "If these Puns don't kill you...I Will..." she said as she fired lasers out of her eyes, GIR however countered by firing lasers out of his own eyes and the two beams collied in a brilliant mix of magenta light. Quickly GIR's Beam began overtaking Robo-Fortune's as she raised her energy barrier and let out a signal to her head drones.
GIR's laser impacted the energy barrier with such force it cracked damaging the projector. The head drones flew in different directions and fired missiles at GIR which impacted him from all sides dealing further damage.
This provided a brief moment of distraction and Robo-Fortune teleported behind GIR just before his laser broke through and fired a magnetic field at the Robot preventing him from flying away as he grew closer.
"More Power! Catastrophe Cannon Gamma!" Two additional boosters appeared on the tops and bottoms of both barrels as the blast grew even stronger, GIR's advancement was slowed even further, pieces of metal began chipping away, the antenna on his head disintegrated.
"MAXIMUM POWER! CATASTROPHE CANNON OMEGA!!!" A Giant Gate opened from Robo-Fortune's back as a truck sized beam engulfed the small Robot, disintegrating his legs, up to his torso, but right at that moment GIR Reached Robo-Fortune grabbed and ripped out her heart as sparks flew everywhere.
***
silence enveloped the singed landscape where suburban block once were.
and then a fully intact Robo-Fortune landed on the ground, "Complex epic fight scene appears over, this was a triumph! assuming this isn't a fake ou-" Robo-Fortune was quickly tackled by a newly regenerated GIR
"YOU'RE FUN! Hugs for Kat Friend!" GIR Said, as his liquid matter transfer engaged, and drained all the synthetic oil out of her body, causing her to shutdown.
"HA, I Win! YAYYYYYY."
KO!
Results:
Woah, this fight was a Real challenge to figure out! Not only did it rely on a single factor, but said factor was determined entirely by interpretation, meaning having a super thorough understanding of the characters was important above all else. With GIR’s Superior DC/Durability and BATSHIT INSANELY Superior Speed, there is simply no way Robo-Fortune would be able to take him on if he was serious. But WOULD GIR be serious? He is insane and for the most part would take nothing seriously, including danger. Robo-Fortune’s attacks are still able to damage him somewhat due to also being in the megaton range, and her own crazy good self-regeneration would more than let her survive the blows from his small moments of clarity, Therefore Robo-Fortune wins if he wasn’t taking this seriously at all. So the ultimate factor for this fight is, How Seriously Would GIR, In Character, take someone attacking him? While it would probably be impossible to answer this question 100% accurately given how unpredictable GIR is, we CAN however look towards how serious GIR is across the numerous different fights and important situations in the series to get an average.
One thing noticed is most of GIR's big failures stem from just one big mistake rather than him being incompetent actively, and when Zim involves GIR in trying to fix it, he is mostly helpful as seen in episodes like 'Walk of Doom'. In fact most episodes Don't have GIR majorly effecting the outcomes but looking at important examples, GIR ended up being a Liability in 'Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain', 'Halloween Spooktacular of Doom', 'Abducted', and 'GIR's gone Crazy and Stuff'. Meanwhile he ended up being super helpful in 'Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy', 'A Room with a Moose', 'Attack of the Saucer Morons', 'Plague of Babies', 'Mysterious Mysteries', 'Walk for your Life', 'Megadoomer', 'The Planet Jackers' and 'Enter the Florpus'. Now Yes, GIR still messed stuff up in all of these positive examples, but he accomplished his goals close enough for it to be successful. Given his stat advantages and healing factor, GIR Did have more than enough room to be sloppy in his fighting and still win and his track record suggested to me he's more likely to go this route.
Overall this really WAS like a Cat VS Dog fight, with the Dog being physically superior but the Cat being smarter and more versatile, the problem is Robo-Fortune will most of the time not be able to put GIR down before he has a long enough moment of clarity to attack her hard and repeatedly enough to overcome her healing factor. Looks like Robo-Fortune's 9 Lives all went to the dogs.
The Winner Is GIR.
