Finally, at long last it is time to analyze the warriors of old, the legends of Behemoth, the...Most awesome characters in my favorite non-fighting game of all time, Gentleman and Imp, I give you... The Castle Crashers.
Background
Once upon a time there was a group of incredibly badass knights with Magical powers. These beings were so much more powerful than the conventional knights that there had to be a new rank invented just for them, a rank with more commanding power than generals, a rank that needs no scouts, a rank that sees more action than the front lines. This is the rank of Castle Crasher.
The Castle Crashers are the king’s elite unit of powerful magic warriors specializing in breaching and destroying enemy Castles, slaying giant monsters, and single handedly taking on missions one would normally need thousands of knights to pull off.
There are many of these color coordinated crashers, but the definitive A-Team among them consists of Red Knight, Orange Knight, Blue Knight & Green Knight.
When these knights weren't saving the day, they were living it up at the Castle, everyone loved them, especially their beloved girlfriends, the princesses, they were the life of every party, that is until….They Were Crossed.
One Day while the Crashers were enjoying a nice concert one of the normal knights was blasted through the doors into the place in a bloody heap.
When the group went up to investigate, they found Everything had gone to shit! An Evil Wizard had come to the kingdom and stole the King's magic crystals that granted the kingdom prosperity.
With him he brought the knights Rival, the Barbarians who laid siege to the knights kingdom and kidnapped the 4 princesses for good measure.
The Wizard escaped as the Castle Crashers sprung into action, single handedly suppressing the barbarian invasion and managing to rescue the Red princess, unfortunately the other 3 were stolen by a band of thieves. Who then sold each of them to a different powerful king across the world.
The Knights of course destroyed all those chumps, but before they could get Orange Princess he traded her off to the Evil Wizard himself.
The knights stormed his evil Palace, killed everyone including the Wizard and saved the last princess and the crystal. Upon returning to the kingdom the Castle Crashers and the Princesses were wed at last.
The CC have traveled the world, fighting practically every type of warrior, giant Greek mythological monsters, demons, dragons, aliens, robots, zombies and tons more. One would be hard pressed finding heroes with more pure determination than them.
Personalities
The Personalities of the knights are all extremely heroic and chivalrous warriors dedicated to protecting the innocent and slaying evil. As for the Individual Personalities there isn’t much to go on but one could piece together a good enough picture from small things throughout the games.
- Red Knight
Red is the Teams fearless leader, ever brave and daring he commands the team in battle with electrically charged confidence and determination.
Red is always the first to take on a new challenge, both to efficiently take out small threats and buy time for his teammates to figure out ways to beat large ones.
- Orange Knight
Orange is the pure one, hes fun, easy going and extremely lay back, sometimes to Red’s annoyance. Of the Knights, Orange is know most for his fiery compassion, caring not only for the lives of innocent people during battle, but animals as well and is more than willing to risk life ans limb to save both.
When innocents are threatened and it’s time to get serious, Orange is easily the most physically capable of the whole group.
- Blue Knight
Blue Knight is the strategist of the team, he is known for being cold, calculating and and very situationally aware.
In battle Blue is the the most prepared and ready for situational challenges, liking to have a logical solution for anything so as not to be caught off guard.
- Green Knight
Green is arguably the most intelligent Knight of the group, not in the way of strategy but trickery. Unlike most Knights Green is okay with using cheep tactics and dirty tricks to bring a foe down.
His general attitude comes off as snarky and impatient, like Donald duck he can get toxicly mad and end up attacking foes that may not be totally evil such as petty thieves.
Powers
The Castle Crashers aren’t purely physical badasses, they have mastered tons of magic powers as well, the knights each have powers unique to them, but also additionally have several other powers which they all have access to.
- Red Knight
Red’s power of choice is his Electrokinesis, the ability to create and manipulate Lightning and Electricity.
With these abilities Red can launch himself dozens of feet, fire balls of lightning for projectiles and even blast steady streams of electricity from his hands which travel through the air at ⅓ the speed of light. All of these moves horribly electrocute anyone unlucky enough to be caught in them generally to the point of death.
- Orange Knight
Orange’s ability is Pryokinesis, which lets him create and manipulate fire and explosions.
Orange uses this to his full advantage to change the shape of the battle field. He can jump explosively into the air, create enormous waves of fire and precisely blast fireballs from his hands. All of these attacks ignite his foes on fire an launch them backwards in a large shock wave.
- Blue Knight
Moving on to the knight with the resting Blue Steal face, Blue knight’s rocking Cryokinesis, the power to generate and manipulate ice and cold.
Blue can summon large amounts of 10 foot ice sickles from the sky to rain down on his foe, create large ice pillars to use for cover and jumping and fire sharp ice projectiles. Just touching any of these attacks will encase the the foe in ice, sometimes freezing them solid.
- Green Knight
Lastly there is Green who wields the power of Toxokinesis, the ability to control poisons and acids.
These chemical combinations can be used in 3 ways, creating explosions that launch Green skyward, creating a cloud of toxins that obscures a foes vision and poisons their lungs and firing acid projectiles which splash and corrode foes. Exposure to any of these turns the foe green and eats away at their health over time till they die and eventually dissolve.
- Shared Powers
- Anti-Logia Hax:
Logia is the ability to resist physical damage due to having no defined shape, such as a being made of liquid, gas, plasma or energy, most attacks pass through them harmlessly however at a certain point the force would be enough to vaporize their being. ANTI-Logia is the ability to completely ignore this and hurt a Logia being as if they were solid and the Knight’s prove they have this ability when they battle the enemies known as Slimes, these are beings made of an ‘unknown’ sentient liquid *Cough*Guano*Cough* yet the knight are still able to just beat them to death.
- Teleportation:
(Pay attention to Blue and Orange)
The Knights can magically teleport mid distances at high speeds.
- Revival:
The knights somehow through simple CPR are able to revive each other from death, including decapitation. The more precisely this is done the more health the knights will get back though in intense situations it is obviously hard to do precisely.
- High Transmutation Resistance:
The knights battled and defeated Medusa, a character who turned dozens of other brave warriors that faced her to solid stone. Yet when she tries this on the knights it only manages to form stone around them which they easily escape, meaning she simply can’t turn them to stone.
- Flight:
The Knight’s can also freaking fly through the air at massively hypersonic speeds like a goddamn missile, I don’t know why flying knights are so amazing, but they really are.
Weaponry/Equipment
The Knights have no ‘Standard’ weapon, even when starting the game the weapon you knight gets as default is random and different each time, there are literally hundreds of different swords, axes, clubs, maces, spears, daggers, staffs, hammers, chainsaws, lightsabers and even ridiculous things like a giant stick of broccoli that the knights can potentially use. For the purposes of this, I’m gonna be going with what I feel are their best and most fitting weapons.
- Red Knight
The Remastered Lightning Bolt Blade was crafted for Red by the Purple Knight, The Blacksmith. Merely holding this blade multiplies the power of his lightning attacks by 1.12 giving him a 12% increase in electrical power. To top this off the blade itself is lightning imbued meaning it can surround itself in electricity for a shockingly enhanced strike
- Orange Knight
The Demon Sword is an incredible powerful blade Orange looted off the final boss himself, The Evil Wizard. This terrifying looking beauty increases Orange’s physical Strength, Agility, and of course Fire attacks by 8% (Multiplied by 1.08). The Blade can also ignite itself on fire for flame enhanced strikes, because of course it can.
- Blue Knight
The Remastered Ice Sword is an ancient relic carefully hidden in the Ice King’s castle which Blue Knight managed to find. The Sword increases Blue’s Cryomantic abilities by 8% and has the ability to encase enemies in ice upon contact.
- Green Knight
The Remastered Ninja Claw Saber was a gift from Pink Knight which he presumably got form the ninja pirates. It increases the potency of his poison by 12%, and makes him 20% faster. The blades of the sword are also coated in poison which eats away at the foes health after striking.
- Standard
- Health Potions
Health Potions fully restore the Knights health regardless of their condition before drinking, all that matters is they are still alive. Each knight can carry up to 5 of these at once.
- Bow and Arrow
Each knight carries a Bow and a never-ending supply of Arrows to bombard enemies with, at their peak the Knights can each fire as many as 400 arrows per minute, almost 7 arrows per second.
- Shields
A Knight’s shield is his best friend, while they have their Shields up the knights take no damage from any conventional attack that strikes it, including lasers, fire poison and shots from alien blasters. The drawback to this being the Knights lose 75% of their Speed while using them to block.
- Bombs
What needs to be said, Bombs are awesome projectile weapons that blast foes across the screen and ignite them on fire, each knight can carry 9 of them at a time.
- Sandwiches
Oh yeah here we go, the Sandwich, also known as Beefy Sandwich, PB&Jacked and Manwich, is an item that each knight can carry up to 9 of at a time.
Upon eating a sandwich the Knights HULK OUT and beat the snot out of enemies and with melee attacks using their drastic strength and durability boost that lasts for 10 seconds.
- Boomerangs
Boomerangs are the knights best all purpose projectile. When thrown the boomerang can not only damage a foe but also stuns them for a brief period, giving the knights time to set up longer attacks. The Knights are so accurate with this weapon they can hit and stun whole groups of enemies in a single throw and have the boomerang pick up and retrieve items for them.
- Shovels
As Shovel Knight fans know, this is quite a handy tool, the knights primarily use shovels to dig for lost items, however these could of course also be used to dig trenches, bury traps and attack near foes with a digging uppercut.
- Warhorn
Horns produce high decibel sonic blasts that launch enemies skyward and can snap the knights out of a boomerang induced daze.
Support
Each knight can equip a small intangible flying companion called an Animal Orb, each of these admittedly adorable creatures provides a different benefit to the Knight it is equipped to. Like the Weapons I will give them what I feel is best and most fitting.
- Red Knight
Hawkster came to Red after Red perfected a hawk call on his horn and have been companions since. He attacks foes and steals their food for Red to use to regenerate his health. Additionally Hawkster can enhance his attacks by mimicking the effects of the Knight’s melee weapon, including electricity.
- Orange Knight
Troll befriended Orange after Orange freed him from the captivity of his larger brethren. He grants Orange a minor Healing factor that lets him gain back 1% of his health every 8 seconds, he can heal from death’s door in less time than it takes to cook a pizza.
- Blue Knight
Yeti was found hiding behind homes in a village by Blue. This creature makes the user immune from being frozen in ice.
- Green Knight
Bitey Bat was taken in by green after defeating the giant poison bat monster, Pipistrello. This little guy occasionally attacks and sucks the blood of enemies adding the health they lose to Greens own in vamperic fashion.
Intelligence/Skills
The Knight have to be one of the most skilled warrior’s I have ever blogged on they have fought and killed foes with numerous different fighting styles including other knights, ninjas, Bedouins, aliens, Eskimos, demons, wizards, tribal fighters and more. They are experts in Hand to Hand, Sword and other various weapons combat, in addition to Archery, Acrobatics, Mountain climbing and even Dancing. They are skilled in Travel and are Expert Trackers able to follow foes that go to other parts of the freaking world. They are also smart enough to spot and outfox the stealthy thieves and tough enough to resist high amounts of poison and blood loss.
Feats
Strength:
- Destroyed a Barbarian Tank which plowed through thousands of soldiers like nothing
- Shattered thick stone walls
- Defeated the Barbarian King who could embed people into the ground and smash through reinforced iron doors
- Their Ground Pounds cause earthquakes that can shake whole distant forests and mountain ranges
- Killed a giant catfish monster that can endure cannon fire
- Killed the giant Troll, a mountain sized monster which cause large earthquakes that span whole forests and shoots lasers from its eyes
- Beat a small sentient Volcano To death while on sandwich
- Destroyed several Hominid cruisers which are durable enough to tank a nuke and lift pyramids
- Slayed a mountain sized fire breathing dragon
- Can Defeat giant bugs, usually in a single hit
- Killed the Evil Wizard who is so powerful he created an energy storm over an island sized area with such intensity it raised his enormous castle over the clouds
Speed:
- Can Dodge point blank cannon fire
- Outrun falling ice sickles
- Can not only dodge lightning but run at a comparable speed
- Swam through over a mile of rapids at speeds comparable to a steamship while in full armor and dodging arrows and fighting sharks, bats and Bunyip’s
- Can Dodge Meteors
- Defeated a hoard of the Alien Hominid Species who can move at speeds fast enough to outrun missiles and bullets
Durability:
- Fought in the Templar Barbarian War which was so intense it caused shock waves that rippled throughout the mountain range
- Fell off a cliff into rapids completely fine
- Killed The Bear Chief after fighting him and taking several of his wind attacks, The Bear Chief has aerokinesis so powerful he created a storm over the entire horizon in seconds
- Can endure being shot out of catapults and cannons
- Fell an enormous distance that killed all the normal knights they brought, though they all got up fine
- Can endure hot lava
- Shrug off hits from boulders 20 feet in diameter
- Defeated a hoard of the Alien Hominid Species who carry blasters with town level shots
- Tanked the explosion of the Hominid’s building sized ship
- Can endure being frozen and easily escape
- Can take hits from the Evil Wizard
- Can survive bombardment by 7 foot meteors
- Tanked the Evil Wizards defeat which made a shock wave that completely shatters the large castle they fought on
General:
- Won the Templar Barbarian war by purging the enemy from their castle, fighting their way through the warzone, taking out the enemy battle tank, single handedly storming and conquering the enemy fortress and defeating the roided-out barbarian king in a battle to the death, all in about 15 minutes
- Fought their way through a Forest full of thieves and trolls
- Outraced a Giant Mountain Sized Troll for a solid mile while improvising rides on deer (One of which was propelling itself with the force of its own terror fueled diarrhea)
- Defeated a 12 foot bloodsucking bat monster than shits pure poison
- Stormed and successfully conquered the coneheads castle, the coneheads are so advanced they have laser grids and lightsabers
- Fought their way through the Cyclops’s castle killing tons of coneheads, demons and the cyclops itself
- Defeated a horde of pyrokinetic demons
- Stormed and conquered the death trap that is industrial castle
- Defeated an army of ninja-pirates in a ship battle and sank them
- Defeated a group of Geokinetic Arab assassins in a game of desert volleyball
- Liberated a village from an army of chlorokinetic Snake Knights
- Slayed the guardian of the War Horn, who happens to be a giant sentient corn
- Battled and slayed Medusa who can spit poison, generate snakes and transmutate foes to stone
- Killed the Ice King
- Defeated the Evil Wizards 3 minions back to back, one of which was the Necromancer who in addition to being a powerful badass, summons up every type of foe the CC fought in the game thus far
Advantages
- Island Level DC and Durability
- Massively Hypersonic Speed
- Great Teamwork
- Tons of elemental powers some of which work great for Debuffing
- Teleportation and Flight increase maneuverability
- Useful resistances
- Revival
- Diverse arsenal for considerable options
- Huge Wealth of experience and skill
Disadvantages
- They can sometimes be distracted by waves of enemies
- They have been known to miss important details
- They care more for the safety of civilians than their own
Recommended Opponents
I’m Not sure I need to explain this one, Magicka Wizards VS Castle Crasher’s THIS FIGHT WOULD BE AMAZING.
